The Daily Gas

Krazy glue now sane

2012-02-13T20:37:00.001+09:00

Take two posts and text me in the morning.

2012-02-12T20:37:00.001+09:00

You can talk the talk; but can you post the post?

2012-02-12T20:15:00.001+09:00

Supercomputer becomes self-conscious at parties

2012-02-10T21:11:00.001+09:00

"What's the difference between worry and fear?" "Don't worry about it."

2012-02-09T14:01:00.001+09:00

Insanity is inherited

2012-02-08T22:47:00.001+09:00

Child qualifies as marriage counselor for parents

2012-02-07T22:58:00.001+09:00

Boss who bullied employee to suicide "was just kidding."

2012-02-06T21:12:00.001+09:00

Easy like Monday morning

2012-02-06T21:04:00.001+09:00

Seven Eleven closes for one hour

2012-02-04T23:49:00.001+09:00

Shit happens. And then some.

2012-02-03T19:41:00.001+09:00

Jobless in Japan, seeking woman in Tokyo area. Also, a job.

2012-02-03T18:58:00.001+09:00

The radio in my head still talks to Castro.

2012-02-03T08:42:00.001+09:00

Master of drunken fist gets in bar fight

2012-02-01T22:33:00.001+09:00

Man who died from overwork is resurrected, heads back to work next week

2012-01-31T22:07:00.001+09:00

Wireless bungee jumping.

2012-01-30T21:06:00.001+09:00

It's the words unspoken that make you good.

2012-01-29T22:04:00.001+09:00

Table for two. One for me, one for my ego.

2012-01-28T22:25:00.001+09:00

New midnight oil also burns during day

2012-01-27T22:24:00.001+09:00

Busy executive defects to the Burmudas

2012-01-26T23:33:00.001+09:00

Keep a smile on your face, a song in your heart, and a Glock in your hand.

2012-01-25T21:25:00.001+09:00

Fortunate man evades death, but still has to pay taxes

2012-01-24T21:59:00.001+09:00

Man dies of fatigue, blamed on his own laziness

2012-01-23T22:25:00.001+09:00

Archaeologist discovers ancient website

2012-01-22T23:00:00.001+09:00

Retired satellites play golf, enjoy tea in the afternoon

2012-01-21T22:49:00.000+09:00

Bullet enters chest, destroys malignant tumor, saves victim's life

2012-01-20T12:30:00.001+09:00

New technology allows texting entire Bible in one SMS

2012-01-19T18:13:00.001+09:00

Extra-terrestrials hyper-intelligent, but horrible conversationalists

2012-01-18T19:04:00.001+09:00

Rambo's mother: "Don't run with a knife in your mouth!"

2012-01-17T21:45:00.001+09:00

Roswell alien crash site declared World Heritage

2012-01-16T13:56:00.001+09:00

Man hospitalized for Red Bull overdose

2012-01-15T14:33:00.001+09:00

Scientists at CERN discover fundamental Lego piece

2012-01-14T18:00:00.001+09:00

Speak softly, and carry a big lawyer.

2012-01-13T17:30:00.001+09:00

Friends don't let drive drunk friends. Druve drinken. I mean drunken driven. I'll drive.

2012-01-12T10:55:00.001+09:00

Monkey business booming

2012-01-11T16:31:00.001+09:00

Leftist takes right turn, gets lost

2012-01-10T20:59:00.001+09:00

"Luke, I am your father's half-twin's godfather's first cousin twice removed."

2012-01-09T20:15:00.001+09:00

Ten Miami Dolphins set free by environmental activists

2012-01-08T11:49:00.001+09:00

Workaholic arrested for driving under pressure

2012-01-07T12:36:00.001+09:00

New law prohibits concealed carry staplers

2012-01-06T20:03:00.001+09:00

For emotional counseling, depress one

2012-01-05T18:10:00.001+09:00

Local man hospitalized for overdose of New Year's greetings

2012-01-04T18:48:00.001+09:00

Scientists discover Mayan calendar actually ended a month ago

2012-01-03T18:19:00.001+09:00

Jet Li beats up assailants, saves his bodyguard

2012-01-02T13:22:00.001+09:00

Soccer player runs up and grabs Emperor's Cup, wins game

2012-01-01T15:03:00.001+09:00

Dish-cleaning master allows student only to use dishwasher

2011-12-31T17:04:00.001+09:00

Wishing everyone health, prosperity, and harmless doses of insanity this coming year

2011-12-31T16:37:00.001+09:00

Man drops hints like napalm

2011-12-30T21:45:00.001+09:00

Company outsources finding potential mental health liabilities in order to find out which ones are crazy and which ones are insane

2011-12-28T09:15:00.001+09:00

Relaxing by imagery: the deep, blue ocean

2011-12-27T12:16:00.001+09:00

Relaxing by imagery: the deep, blue ocean

Hi there. Today, let's learn to relax using the power of our imagination. Let's try reducing stress in our everyday lives by imagining swimming in a deep, blue ocean.

Let's start at the beach. The waves are softly washing up against the beach. The soft sound of the waves is soothing. Close by, several children are building a sand castle. Children are so innocent. A bit further off, a company of Marines are making an amphibious landing. Let's head toward the water.

We're swimming now. We've swam a bit now, haven't we? Oh, look, a battleship! Ships are magnificent, aren't they? Let's dive underwater.

It's a whole new world under the surface of the waves, isn't it? A turtle swims by. Hello! Let's wave at it as is swims peacefully by. Oh look, a school of fish! So peaceful. The fish here are so exotic and colorful. There's also a team of Navy SEALs swimming past. Let's wave at them to. Bye-bye!

It was sunny outside, but now it seems to be raining. Or perhaps someone's shooting a .50-cal machine gun into the water. But don't worry; bullets shot at an angle into the water will slow down considerably below six feet. Let's dive deeper.

Now we see some really exciting fish. Some have sharp needles, so let's be careful. What's that round thing? Oh, it's a mine! How nice. Maybe the SEAL team will take care of it. Let's head back toward the surface.

Now, wasn't that relaxing? Tomorrow, let's imagine taking a nice, sunny, afternoon stroll down the boulevards of downtown Mogadishu.

Happy relaxing!

Peace activist trains operator in nonviolent maritime interdiction operations

2011-12-27T09:00:00.001+09:00

In today's anger management class, I learned how to field-strip aGlock 17

2011-12-26T18:40:00.001+09:00

Today's forecast: sunny, with some ranting in the afternoon.

2011-12-26T10:49:00.001+09:00

Happy Holidays. Don't shoot the machine gun when you're drunk.

2011-12-25T10:13:00.001+09:00

Destruction of work property good for your mental health

2011-12-24T13:44:00.001+09:00

CSI expert determines initial position of toe from toe nail clipping ballistics

2011-12-23T21:12:00.001+09:00

New study suggests good are living longer

2011-12-22T16:26:00.001+09:00

The Daily Gas will never spam you. Message brought to you by Vi*gra.

2011-12-21T18:31:00.001+09:00

The people who love you when you're down really love you.

2011-12-20T17:28:00.001+09:00

National Guard called to stop hockey game fight

2011-12-19T19:55:00.001+09:00

Work till you die. And then some.

2011-12-18T14:58:00.001+09:00

Lonely Siri talks to self

2011-12-17T16:06:00.001+09:00

Status quo not up to par

2011-12-16T12:38:00.001+09:00

Posting, posting. 1, 2, 3, posting.

2011-12-15T21:09:00.001+09:00

New "Treason" missile fails to hit target every time

2011-12-14T12:03:00.001+09:00

There's a joke in here somewhere...

2011-12-13T21:28:00.001+09:00

New holsters made for carrying Red Bull cans

2011-12-12T22:33:00.003+09:00

I'm dreaming of a white, 64Gb iChristmas

2011-12-12T22:33:00.001+09:00

Sniper sets record of three feet with pea shooter

2011-12-10T23:15:00.001+09:00

FireWire ignites

2011-12-09T17:33:00.001+09:00

Military Mundane Forces called in to do emergency menial tasks

2011-12-08T12:35:00.001+09:00

Work contract valid until rigor mortis sets in

2011-12-07T08:40:00.001+09:00

E-book Bible stops bullet

2011-12-06T20:29:00.001+09:00

Sniper has long-distance love affair

2011-12-05T22:15:00.001+09:00

Stand-up comedian: Improvised Entertainment Device

2011-12-04T18:48:00.001+09:00

Teeth grinding world championships begin

2011-12-03T19:34:00.001+09:00

Sheena Easton played around the clock at Guantanamo

2011-12-02T09:27:00.001+09:00

All the Decepticons in new Transformers movie are for some reason Toyotas

2011-12-01T09:35:00.000+09:00

Elite platoon of comedians trained at Fort Bragg

2011-11-30T23:49:00.001+09:00

Man so drunk, his double vision corrected

2011-11-29T21:29:00.001+09:00

Talk to the Siri

2011-11-28T22:43:00.000+09:00

Joke-on-demand technology in development

2011-11-27T22:17:00.000+09:00

Dearth Vader retires, devotes life to helping needy

2011-11-26T21:39:00.001+09:00

Sniper hits target with bazooka

2011-11-25T21:22:00.001+09:00

Friendly fire not so friendly

2011-11-24T21:00:00.003+09:00

Mac Book Amateur on sale now

2011-11-24T21:00:00.001+09:00

M ain't for murder

2011-11-23T00:41:00.001+09:00

Day of the dead living

2011-11-21T21:20:00.001+09:00

Hair growth hormones for monks

2011-11-20T21:31:00.000+09:00

Windows or Macs? .308s or .223s? The debates continue.

2011-11-19T19:11:00.001+09:00

Living dictionary at a loss for words

2011-11-18T19:55:00.001+09:00

Bullet proof soul

2011-11-17T19:09:00.001+09:00

I know, it's like, je ne sais quoi

2011-11-16T21:37:00.001+09:00

Home team go, go Home!

2011-11-15T20:04:00.001+09:00

E-mail now called iMail

2011-11-14T22:24:00.001+09:00

Night of the living mannequins

2011-11-13T22:08:00.000+09:00

Brain yoga: think healthy

2011-11-12T16:35:00.000+09:00

Scene from Chaplain boot camp: "Give me ten "Hail Mary"s, now!" "Sir, yes sir!"

2011-11-11T18:52:00.001+09:00

What? I can't see you!

2011-11-10T21:37:00.001+09:00

New iMarket comes in black and white

2011-11-09T20:00:00.001+09:00